I have a question for you. How are you aiming your mind and what are you aiming it upon? I have found that question to be the determining factor in whether people are creating significance and success at life or end up missing the boat. What you are aiming it on and how you are aiming it makes all the difference in the world. After all, it isn’t so much “what” happens to you that determines mental health, happiness and significance as “how” you choose to see it and what you choose to do about it.
In my professional life I have worked with emotionally handicapped children, run crisis centers dealing with life and death issues, had a private practice working with individuals, couples and families and created a consulting business focused on organizational effectiveness, leadership development and personal mastery. In all situations, the greatest challenge has been getting people to first identify and then step back from the flawed cognitions (Self Limiting Beliefs) to which they have given power in their minds and lives. The SLBs serve as cracked lenses that limit, block and distort what people can see, interpret and understand around them.
The second greatest challenge is then getting the people who have begun to break faith with their flawed cognitions to create and craft a Self Enabling Belief (SEB) that supplants the self limiting belief that had previously prevailed. The enabling belief can be as simple as, “I can see things in a more compassionate way” or as complex as, “I participate in the power and creative potential of the Universe.” The process from then on is simply one of mindfulness and practice: every time you identify a SLB running in the background of your mind, you challenge it and consciously choose the self enabling belief that will open up new potentials and choices.
Whoever you may be, how you aim your mind and what you choose to aim it upon will determine what you get to experience and how effectively you manifest significance and success in life. What are the one or two primary self-limiting beliefs that get triggered when you are feeling at your worst and not playing at your best? Can you step back and identify them and watch how they color and distort your experience and limit your creative potential and ability to craft a more loving, joyful and powerful response? What are the enabling-belief systems you are cultivating and beginning to exercise that open you up to a more generous, compassionate and creative way of seeing, thinking and acting? It is, after all, a matter of choice, and creating the space, the power to choose.